Projection.

We're more comfortable with some kind of people than other kind of people. Some seem to us kind of neutral and we don´t mind to see or not see those people. But, there are people who explicitly irritate us, trigger us and actually we are usually not so happy to see them. However, it is interesting that Peter gets well with John, Amy or Jonathan but not with me because I am triggered by him.

What is it that someone irritates us, and when they say something, we get angry or are we outraged or disgusted and others not? Have you ever tried to think about it? It might be something what is called a projection. The projection means there is some repressed aspect of our personality that we have not accepted and now, so to speak, it is popping up with others in interaction with them. And we can think that the problem is them when actually it might be something in us.

How does it happen that we have something suppressed and not accepted in us? 😳🙂 It is quite possible that we grew up in a family that very often told us that certain behaviour is not nice, so we pushed it deep down in ourselves and rejected it. Or we are strongly religious, and in our religion some behaviour is unacceptable, then it can be a school, a certain society that taught that something is really not welcome. All this has an impact on the formation of our personality, our preferences and values. Accordingly, we have set up the whole value system and behaviour.

However, life does not ask what we think and do not think and what has shaped us until now. It sends us all kinds of people who have different life stories and behaviours and actually they don't have to be bad people at all, they just kind of didn't fit into our world of what is appropriate or not.

When we find out that we have a certain aspect of personality which is suppressed, that to  find out  is the first significant step towards "healing" and embracing this aspect, this part of ourselves. Let's try to embrace what we once have not accepted and rejected, maybe now we don't have to shape our values from society, or parents, of religion. Maybe we are not even religious any more.

Probably this healing will not be done overnight, but gradually, slowly, we will certainly be relieved, because there is nothing better than accepting ourselves with everything, the good and not so good and what we have been taught by someone that needs to be rejected, removed, suppressed. 

Next time when you meet someone whose behaviour irritates you and you want to be really honest with yourself, try to ask yourself "Is this really a horrible person, or just my own projection of something what has been suppressed?"

...and have a nice day 🙏🙃🥰

Mirka