Relationships are our greatest teachers.

Why is it that the relationship is easy for someone, and the other one is trying and somehow not succeeding for the world. Relationships are at the level of friendship, relationships at work, in business, in partnership. And we're going to look now at partnerships, because those are the ones that are the greatest teachers for a great many people. Through them we learn about ourselves and especially what we didn't even know about ourselves.

Partner relationships can be divided into two categories, namely karmic relationships and gifted relationships (Michael Mirdad).

Many of us have found ourselves in different relationships, but karmic relationships are certainly not forgotten. It's those relationships where we come out of them and it's like we come out of some kind of merry-go-round and our head is spinning and we're asking ourselves, how did this happen to me and what actually happened and why did all this happen and most importantly, may it never happen again. I don't want this anymore.

It usually starts off quite idyllically and there are all sorts of signs that confirm it for us, all sorts of weird coincidences and synchronisities where we convince ourselves that wow, is this possible, this is going to be the one. There is a huge attraction there, whether emotional, mental, spiritual or physical.

But relationships are our mirror, it's interesting to observe, say, friends, girlfriends, because that's the best way to observe others as an independent observer, that how they change all of a sudden, how they give in to that partner, they do things like that just so they don't lose him/her, they cross their own boundaries of values and what's important to them. They begin to lose themselves in the other. "Well, you know, a relationship is about compromise..." Really? Well there is no compromise like compromise.

You watch your friend, the city person, suddenly move to the village and adjust to a man. "Well you know, one has to give in and my man won't budge, so I have to." So we step back again and again and we let our heads bounce around more and more until finally we really don't know who we are. Or we step aside in our needs, we don't actually have them met and the whole thing starts to fall apart brick by brick.

Love alone is not enough, I can love someone but they may not be the right one for me. We may not be right for each other at all. It's important for a partner to be compatible so that we can fulfill each other's needs. That we try to grow in the relationship and become more and more close spiritually as well, not drifting apart. It is always good to ask whether this will bring us closer or put us further apart.

And what is it actually that makes someone to have a gifted relationship and someone a karmic one? Why is it that somebody enters into a relationship and it goes right direction, they're really supportive of each other, they understand each other, they're on the same frequency, it's not that hard to explain something to the other person, they see into each other, they help each other, they grow with each other, they enhance each other, they just get along, they're genuinely happy together?

It comes down to whether we attract the other from our healthy selves or our aching selves. We often don't actually know that we have a sore self, we don't find that out until we're in that partnership. Just a lot of times we think we're OK, we've got it all sorted out, we're balanced, it's going to be great. But the relationship will show us how you're doing.

So what do we actually do? What is the solution, why do we keep finding ourselves in what we don't want to be in, "I don't want to experience this anymore". The solution is healing, healing on a soul level, looking at my own ego, my own patterns, going back to my childhood, to the distant past, looking at my own family, what was going on there, the environment I grew up in/l. Going to a professional, a therapist, talking and looking, healing and bringing wholeness back to myself. Because it is only when healing occurs that we can have a truly suitable and good partner, otherwise we will attract partners over and over again who will only be hitting onto our wounds, maybe ancient, maybe recent.

When healing occurs, our detector for the right partner will activate itself. Our boundaries will become stronger and clearer, the limits of what we do and what we really don't anymore, we will realize clearly what our needs are, we will not be afraid to be open and truly honest in communicating what is important to us. And we will be able to distinguish the essential from the trivial. This is healing at a deep level of both soul and body, when one is truly honest and loving with oneself. Then one is able to attract a partner of similar qualities and will thus be in a giving relationship.

I wish everyone to find the courage within themselves to look within and seek answers in the stillness and silence of their own being.

Mirka